shivers in front of the newspaper. a mental block in front of my computer screen, or a struck dumb at the phone screen. and let alone my own drops of bombshells that was jaw-dropping for many of my listeners. & then came some crying my lungs out in empty rooms, followed by a hysteria of tears. sometimes silent misery too.
this is what turmoil looks like during hardships – at least metaphorically. & when I had to experience some of these moments in the past year, it was hard to see the infinite blessings I have been privileged to witness in my short life. but not seeing something does not merely mean that it does not exist.
beautiful voices. eloquent expressions. surprise hugs.coffee and quality time with my mother. a tap on the shoulder from a teacher. a forehead kiss from a beloved. a magical concert with a friend from the old days. a see-you-soon from a stranger. laughter that called in the neighbours with my cousins. fariouz in the morning, and marcel khalife at night. a hand-written letter in the mail box, or a note on the mirror of my bathroom. a voice note of: I love you. or even better: I forgive you. eye-contact after a wise prose, and the hand-shake that follows.. & the smile that starts an analytical conversation. the list in endless – for that I am endlessly grateful.
they said it was a Tuesday when my twin sister and I came to this world. 22 years later,and here we are again, a Tuesday, September 13th 2016. I am blessed, and I only pray that I continue to be enriched by this lifetime I have been granted. & I pray that someday and someway, I am able to leave some footprints on various lands of this beautiful earth.
there is one more thing I am mostly thankful for this year among my blessings – which are by the way – countless. literally countless. & I only shared some overarching themes of my life events in my eventful memorial reservoir. that great blessing is my people. I am overwhelmed by the amount of love in the messages, posts, mails and emails I have received for my birthday. I appreciate taking them time to share a kind gesture – but mostly – I am thankful for the people themselves. For being who they are to me, and for sticking around even when I dissolve in a solo, perhaps selfish, time of isolation. It is easy to love people when they are good to us, but it is more graceful and unconditional to love them when they have nothing to give us, and perhaps wronged us several times. I know myself, and my short-comings in all aspects of life – and I am sure that which I do not know about myself is greater than what I can mentally and emotionally grasp. but, I know that my people chose to stick around with their unconditional love – even when I deserved it the least. & that – is the greatest blessing I could ever wish for.
Here is a song from a memory – a concert version intentionally – and a picture that I took from a concert for the Les Cowboys Fringants in Chicoutimi, Quebec during my 5-week stay in summer of 2015. I was first introduced to the art of the band in Café Cambio in downtown Chicoutimi – and I listened to that song there, and then a couple of days later I went to their concert, and it as enchanting. A year or more after, I cannot but very much relate to the lyrics. They became one of my favourite bands every since.
Voila mes amis! 🙂
Photo Captured by iPhone 5s – 2015