What a month they named after you, Augustus –  like the entire year – in its length and its surprises? So slow during tough times and so quick during pleasure. 

& as the speed of light in enchanting moments – that whenever I try to retain its details – it feels like a dream. When and where did it happen? How? I can’t even remember the tone of your voice or the small details of your features. I just have a hazy image in my head of what happened. 

& perhaps that these memories are just meant to be like that: a dream. 

One that I may never remember its details until I see you again – if I ever see you again.

For now – the haziness is causimg numbness and the numbess is causing discomfort. & the discomfort is causing pain. I just need to pause time, and run to the prayer mat till I retain the faith that everything will be alright. 

You told me everything will be – but may You show me? A sign? For, I love You. I love You, so much God.  

I don’t break in pieces – I break in phases. & I am sure that at some point – in every phase – You will send Your Divine intervention – in the image of my mother, a sister, brother or friend – to reassure Your promise. 

Everything will be just right. 


Even the goodbye to Augustus. 

& the welcome hug to أيلول. 


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